Friday, May 3, 2019

Cheaper than therapy

I need a place to write down my thoughts.   I am married to a man that essentially is a good guy.  Great provider , nice guy that people like.  That being said its not working for me.  We were married September 1997. We have one daughter who is a junior in high school.  So busy time in our lives.  The two of them are two peas in a pod.  Very similar.  Don't get me wrong my daughter has plenty of traits that are mine and they aren't necessary the best ones.

My daughter has a tendency, well not a tendency, she always does it she takes everything out on me.  I have been her punching bag for years.  I very very much know it isn't the same but there is a part of me that get what mentally abused people are going through.  Because if I really told people how I was treated that is probably what they would say she does to me.

I will go to husband and read to him the hurtful awful rants/texts that I get from our daughter and I get met with silence.  Nothing from him.  There was one time that I talked about what a bad place I was in and crying at the kitchen table and all he said was, I'm going to go get changed.  I am sitting there crying being vulnerable and asking for help and that is all I got.  So needless to say he is not there for me.

I had spent so many days curled up in fetal position not wanting to move that I finally said that's it I have to do something for me.  I thought I am going to see if it really is me and/or will getting out of this house do anything.  I scheduled an appointment with a therapist, but canceled it.  I did go on anti depressant.  My husband does not know this and I have no intention of telling him.

I really want to leave.  I want to leave them both.  I know part of me wants to leave so they realize how much I do for them but they are both the type of people that when you bring it up they say I didn't asked you to do that for me.  Not a thank you just whatever.  I am always being told this is a thankless job.  Well know its not...and that is why I only do the minimum for them.  I have been sticking with it especially with my husband.  Its a little harder to do with my daughter.

I do want to say my daughter is actually a smart, talented, driven student and athlete.  She is caring and kind.  As with both of them just not to me.  I love her with all my heart and I wish her nothing but success but if I am being honest I can't take much more of this.  As I sit here crying as I type this I just don't know what to do.  She has Sat's tomorrow so I don't want to do anything today but after the tests I just want to leave.  I won't but I really want to.  I hate being here.  I really do.  I deserve better from them.  I deserve someone who is going to listen to me and comfort me and just support me.  I don't need someone who is going to tell me that when I try this you say this when I do this you say thins.  Let me call bullshit now.  If you put as much effort into me as you do work we would be good.  if I got 25% of what you give to other people we would be ok.  I get nothing and I am tired of it.

I say  am going to stick it out and wait til my daughter is in college to see if it gets any better bc I do think she brings a level of stress to us even though she is a dream child except for the mouth.  But I am struggling right now.

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